sunday. i took short passes in cold and wet snow from 0830 to 1130, which pretty much covers the time in which people are arriving to the williston federated church up until the time people are departing it.
reverend crocker stopped in the crosswalk to say good morning as usual and as usual i said "justice be with you" which is pretty much all i ever say, and i only speak when i'm spoken to and usually not even then.
and reverend crocker stopped to give me "friendly advice" that he hoped i was being "very, very careful" which sounded half like friendly advice but half like the kind of threat that men in power give you under the guise of caring for you.
after the service the choir accompanist came running out and asked if she could give me a hug.
it was the first time someone from the williston church has spoken kind words to me since they threw me out in august for talking of the assault.
"i miss you", she said.
and when she asked me if walking with the sign was what i wanted, i had to tell her that no, what i had originally wanted was to stay in the church but since that wasn't possible, truth telling and daylight and a permanent reminder was going to have to do.
it is easier to be angry on the outside, but a harder thing to be on opposite sides of the door from people you love.
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