a lot of the usuals

it's the new normal at the williston federated church.

i got to say the words "good morning, officer" again. it's really interesting, because the people who called the police hadn't told the police that they were afraid i MIGHT say something to their children; they told the police i had said things to their children, which is patently not true and also very different in the interests of police.

outside of a close personal friend of the perpetrator and former friend of mine, i did not speak at all unless i was spoken to, and only to say good morning.

yep. because the only people who spoke to me had nothing to say other than good morning. and i got invited to some concerts.

the thing i said to the friend of the perpetrator was "did he do it to you too?" because he might have done for all i know. he certainly had opportunity because he's been alone with her and also taken her sailing, same as me.

so it wouldn't have been a big stretch of the imagination to think he might have had his tongue in her mouth, too.

she's maybe braver than me, maybe not afraid to fight back.

i was too afraid during the assault and too afraid afterward so no for the rest of my life i get to make up for that by fighting back against him and the culture of silence in churches and that church in particular. it will not happen to me again but maybe the next time it happens to someone in that church (and statistically it will. statistically it is happening NOW to someone else in that church somewhere in their lives)- maybe the next time someone in that church falls apart because of an assault on them the church will live up to its duty to be a safe haven.

maybe next time there will be no vacuum of leadership, no protection of the perpetrator, not so much punishment of the survivor who tells.


in any case, no children were present when i said it to her. it was just her and the associate pastor's wife.

but the officer had to come down and watch me stand there quietly and he had to get out and come talk to me. "as always, you're not doing anything wrong", is how the officer starts the conversation. i think this visit with the police makes an impression on the passers-by, especially the part of the visit from the police where the officer wishes me a good day and goes on leaving me standing there with the sign.

as for happy little messages written in the sidewalk in chalk, it's fine and dandy for you to wish me blessings on my day, williston federated church, but when are you going to DO anything to make this right?

we might pray and we might sing but we will not do anything
because we have no moral standing in the church!