lent, day 22, sick day five.
going to the doctor sick.
tomorrow will be a recovery day.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
lent, day 21
it is disappointing that i am still too sick to leave the house.
tomorrow would have been a long walk during choir practice, but i won't be well enough to walk the full three hours.
a short walk if i am able?
and maybe i will think of the effectiveness of random reinforcement.
wearing them down is a long fight. i have to be thinking of the long game and not of short gains.
price of truth.
price of daylight.
tomorrow would have been a long walk during choir practice, but i won't be well enough to walk the full three hours.
a short walk if i am able?
and maybe i will think of the effectiveness of random reinforcement.
wearing them down is a long fight. i have to be thinking of the long game and not of short gains.
price of truth.
price of daylight.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
lent, day 19
last night going to bed i felt as if i had a massive cold coming on.
this morning i am definitively sick.
i am not surprised given the amount of cold weather sporting and cold weather protesting i've been doing, and it's been physically exhaustive.
so i do not think anyone will mind (giggle) if i take this one day off and rest up. tomorrow is town meeting day in williston, and i will want to be rested enough to make some long passes while the civic minded voters come and go.
and realistically speaking, since i don't go every day at the same time and i don't take the same route every day, a daily presence is perceived hit-and-miss anyway.
the important thing is a general appearance of a possibility of showing up at any time, on any day. the important thing is to develop a branding so that the williston federated church is associated with this protest in the minds of people, so taking a sick day probably won't mess up the continuity of my message delivery much.
this morning i am definitively sick.
i am not surprised given the amount of cold weather sporting and cold weather protesting i've been doing, and it's been physically exhaustive.
so i do not think anyone will mind (giggle) if i take this one day off and rest up. tomorrow is town meeting day in williston, and i will want to be rested enough to make some long passes while the civic minded voters come and go.
and realistically speaking, since i don't go every day at the same time and i don't take the same route every day, a daily presence is perceived hit-and-miss anyway.
the important thing is a general appearance of a possibility of showing up at any time, on any day. the important thing is to develop a branding so that the williston federated church is associated with this protest in the minds of people, so taking a sick day probably won't mess up the continuity of my message delivery much.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
lent, day 18
the walk itself was unremarkable.
i got one thumbs up, a wave, and a couple stopped and said the admired my courage to make the protest, but there was traffic behind them so i thanked them and suggested they move on.
after church a woman from the church asked me to talk, so i did.
i learned that they pray for me every week during the service, which means they're talking about the whole thing a whole lot more than they would have had to if i'd just been allowed to stay.
she also say attendance is down, that it depresses people to have to see me and my sign and fewer come.
bingo.
and that's a funny thing, the way christians who feel they are aggrieved pray for you. they never pray to right the wrong. they pray for you so see the "right" and let them off the hook.
i'm totally ok with things the way they are now, except it's a physical challenge to haul myself there every day. the people who WANT the march stopped are the people praying for me to stop it.
and they have the power to stop it at any time. all they have to do is sit down in a meeting with the district superintendent (UMC) and the conference minister (UCC).
when i started this journey i would have been happy with simply being allowed to stay and mend my own fences.
then i would have been satisfied with an apology and not returning.
now it's going to take that meeting, but the williston federated church has the ability to do that at any time, as do the united methodist church ad the united church of christ.
the woman today kept telling me she hoped i would find peace and meaning and happiness.
i kept having to tell her that i am at peace and i have meaning and i have happiness.
she actually said "but you just said you were unhappy"
i had to tell her "no, i said i was happy."
she could not process this information.
ever since i started the protest i am sleeping better than i ever have since the assault. i am waking refreshed in the morning.
the protest is not a thing i am doing to force other people to make me happy; i am happy with it the way it is. i will be happy also if the church wishes to properly address the coverup and i will agree to stop the protest in return for that.
but i do it with a light and peaceful heart.
i got one thumbs up, a wave, and a couple stopped and said the admired my courage to make the protest, but there was traffic behind them so i thanked them and suggested they move on.
after church a woman from the church asked me to talk, so i did.
i learned that they pray for me every week during the service, which means they're talking about the whole thing a whole lot more than they would have had to if i'd just been allowed to stay.
she also say attendance is down, that it depresses people to have to see me and my sign and fewer come.
bingo.
and that's a funny thing, the way christians who feel they are aggrieved pray for you. they never pray to right the wrong. they pray for you so see the "right" and let them off the hook.
i'm totally ok with things the way they are now, except it's a physical challenge to haul myself there every day. the people who WANT the march stopped are the people praying for me to stop it.
and they have the power to stop it at any time. all they have to do is sit down in a meeting with the district superintendent (UMC) and the conference minister (UCC).
when i started this journey i would have been happy with simply being allowed to stay and mend my own fences.
then i would have been satisfied with an apology and not returning.
now it's going to take that meeting, but the williston federated church has the ability to do that at any time, as do the united methodist church ad the united church of christ.
the woman today kept telling me she hoped i would find peace and meaning and happiness.
i kept having to tell her that i am at peace and i have meaning and i have happiness.
she actually said "but you just said you were unhappy"
i had to tell her "no, i said i was happy."
she could not process this information.
ever since i started the protest i am sleeping better than i ever have since the assault. i am waking refreshed in the morning.
the protest is not a thing i am doing to force other people to make me happy; i am happy with it the way it is. i will be happy also if the church wishes to properly address the coverup and i will agree to stop the protest in return for that.
but i do it with a light and peaceful heart.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
lent, day 17
today i only took three short passes.
there is nothing to report.
tomorrow will be a long march, from the time people start arriving at church until they close it up.
every day that i am out there is a day that the image of my sign and my march gets associated with the wiiliston federated church. the neighbors are getting used to it. it's part of the furniture.
good.
there is nothing to report.
tomorrow will be a long march, from the time people start arriving at church until they close it up.
every day that i am out there is a day that the image of my sign and my march gets associated with the wiiliston federated church. the neighbors are getting used to it. it's part of the furniture.
good.
Friday, March 1, 2013
lent, day 16
the walk this afternoon was three long passes and a short pass, for a total of about three and a half miles.
it was mostly uneventful.
there was one friendly beep, two turnaround drivebys, and a woman who pulled alongside and rolled down her window to speak to me.
i am always afraid when they stop, always afraid when i know the reason they have slowed down is to do or say something. i am always afraid that one of these days one of them will beat the crap out of me.
what would i do? get a new sign? a new camera?
the thing is, though, that if you're going to march, you have to be open to what comes. so far nearly every person who has stopped me has been supportive, and every person i talk to is an opportunity to let the light in on the assault and the coverup.
the woman who spoke to me today said more to me than i could hear, but i was to afraid in the moment to engage her. all i heard was "call the free press". i don't know if she was declaring intent to do so in some kind of solidarity or if she was being derisive. it felt dangerous to me.
meanwhile, i've learned that the methodist church's response / intervention team is going on a retreat this weekend.
isn't that nice?
you know what i've heard from the united methodist church in the months since i sent my letter to the district superintendent?
nothing.
that's why i'm out on the streetcorner with the sign, every damn day.
because the united methodist church response to the coverup at the williston federated church is silence.
and the united church of christ's response is to send a student pastor.
to study how to make coverups, i guess.
and the lilly foundation is subsidizing that pastor's conveniently timed sabbatical. and also the choir's european package tour vacation.
can you afford a european vacation?
i can't.
but the williston federated church can, because they're gotten a grant from the lilly foundation.
figures.
it was mostly uneventful.
there was one friendly beep, two turnaround drivebys, and a woman who pulled alongside and rolled down her window to speak to me.
i am always afraid when they stop, always afraid when i know the reason they have slowed down is to do or say something. i am always afraid that one of these days one of them will beat the crap out of me.
what would i do? get a new sign? a new camera?
the thing is, though, that if you're going to march, you have to be open to what comes. so far nearly every person who has stopped me has been supportive, and every person i talk to is an opportunity to let the light in on the assault and the coverup.
the woman who spoke to me today said more to me than i could hear, but i was to afraid in the moment to engage her. all i heard was "call the free press". i don't know if she was declaring intent to do so in some kind of solidarity or if she was being derisive. it felt dangerous to me.
meanwhile, i've learned that the methodist church's response / intervention team is going on a retreat this weekend.
isn't that nice?
you know what i've heard from the united methodist church in the months since i sent my letter to the district superintendent?
nothing.
that's why i'm out on the streetcorner with the sign, every damn day.
because the united methodist church response to the coverup at the williston federated church is silence.
and the united church of christ's response is to send a student pastor.
to study how to make coverups, i guess.
and the lilly foundation is subsidizing that pastor's conveniently timed sabbatical. and also the choir's european package tour vacation.
can you afford a european vacation?
i can't.
but the williston federated church can, because they're gotten a grant from the lilly foundation.
figures.
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