i have to admit the whole of my attention wan't on the walk this morning, although one might think the cold and the blattering rain might put my mind firmly in the "now" of it.
but it was kind of just a placeholder. a thing i do while i'm marking time. it's simply the normal of my life. on sundays i go to church.
sundays i go to church and i stand on the outside, looking in. sundays i do not let it be forgotten that i am in exile.
you can send me away but i will make certain none of you ever forgets.
here i am, right where you left me. i can't ever come home again, but i can stand here on the curb for the rest of my natural life.
tan car man was there. there were a lot of wavers, a lot of thumbs-up. people mostly slowed way down today or flashed their lights until they were sure i had seen them.
one man said something out of his window, which given the rain HAD to be on purpose, but traffic noise made it impossible for me to hear his words. his intent was unclear, too.
here is a thing i have learned over the months: most gestures made by drivers have more to do with their phones or their dogs than anything going on outside the car. and windshield glare keeps a person on the street from seeing almost everything about a driver's face most of the time.
anyway, when i was done walking i came home and made cookies. and i went to a birthday party. every once in a while there walks on the planet a person who creates around him the world he wants to live in. he picks his fights based on principles and is extravagantly generous and changes lives everywhere he goes. he is authentically and fully himself.
and i made him cookies.
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