more bad judgement

i don't know who thought it would be funny to go to a public "community event" as a representative of a protestant church dressed up as a nun for halloween, but i can tell you that catholics in general are pretty sick of protestants thinking that catholic religious figures make funny halloween costumes.

so way to go, williston federated church. awesome way to show you've got your act together to have someone dresses as a nun on the lawn while your catholic neighbors are coming home from mass.

way to be respectful.

no moral compass, no moral leadership. it shows it many ways, large and small.

fall flop

well, i'd call that a smashing success, wouldn't you?

it is interesting to note that the fraudulent pastor went in costume as her true anima: the queen, complete with crown and scepter, the trappings of the power she loves so much more than her call.

it was also interesting to notice some really significant flaws in planning and execution of the event, which probably would have gone better if there wasn't such a vacuum of leadership at the williston federated church.

i mean, just for starters: hey! i have an idea! let's spend some money we don't really have on a public festival on our tiny front lawn right where the protester stands. that will be an excellent way to signal to the community that we really have our act together.

for me, though, it was mostly just the usuals.

tan car man was there, and scripture guy. the usual honks and waves, thumbs ups, and v-for-victory.

a family in a car went by with thumbs up and shouted YEAH! LET 'EM ALL GO TO HELL!

there was one wolf howl and one guy from the church who went by with one very loud aggressive honk and a full arm flipping me off that was pretty stunning in its majesty and anger, which suits me fine.

one woman i don't think affiliated with the church went by and she seemed to be disapproving, but it's hard to tell when people shout things with the windows rolled up what all they mean.

i know from experience that not all people who smile at you are supporters and not all people who look angry are detractors. when you protest a thing that brings out strong negative emotions in people, sometimes your best supporters are wearing angry faces.

so i don't judge intent unless i can hear the actual words or see clear gestures.

i think -but it's just a guess- she was not a supporter.

there was also a disturbing gesture i had never seen before: someone from the back of a stretch limousine stuck out an arm and with pointed finger pretend fired shots into me.

ok, then.

you know, it would not be my first choice to get the crap beaten out of me on the church lawn or for someone to shoot me dead there, but for sure nobody would ever forget it.

talk about profound discomfort.

going into month twelve.

if the williston federated church had had adequate leadership, the protest would have been over before tomorrow.

wait, let's back up.

if the williston federated church had had adequate leadership, the protest would not have gone into one day let alone eleven months.

tomorrow, i imagine, will be awkward and uncomfortable. that's a necessary attribute of protest.

i am prepared for it.

just so we're clear

there was a stepping down of the protest while mediation was in progress.

since there is no actual progress unless you count flowery notes and messages on the sidewalk (which are not progress on anything but only empty noise), the daily protests will resume at full volume later this week.

if the church has not made sufficient progress toward changing its toxic culture before the fraudulent pastor retires, the church will simply bear the protest until i am too damn old.

it is not going away until it is fixed or until i have been laid in my grave.

the leadership vacuum at the church and in the united methodist church and especially in the cheerfully inept and toxic money-grubbing untied church of christ should be brought up short on its chain and truth told until it is made whole.

every person who stood by and let it pass shares in the responsibility of coverup. every church person having knowledge of the assault and coverup affiliated with either church is part of the problem, regardless of their pretense of being about healing or survivor advocacy. that pastor over in south burlington, i'm looking at you.

there is no cure for it but truth telling, over and over as long as there are eyes to see or ears to hear and it matters not one bit if people are tired of it.


until it is corrected, it is not over.

escape hatch

it's be hard for me to be on the corner because i'm out on the road. i had to come home special for the chicken supper last week, and i'll come home in time for the fall fest.

there is an escape hatch that could help settle this before christmas, but i doubt anyone will move fast enough to make it happen before easter.

see, in order to find out what it is, someone would have to talk with me.

chalk messages are not talking. i will share that information with the mediator if asked. it is time sensitive, i think. i think the current window will close soon and the next will not open up until may.

it isn't much, but it's something.

would you rather have the protest be over now, or in january? in january, or in may? in may, or never?

fall fest

i am looking forward to protesting at the upcoming fall fest.

it will be a long day, but i can pack a lunch.

a lot of the usuals

it's the new normal at the williston federated church.

i got to say the words "good morning, officer" again. it's really interesting, because the people who called the police hadn't told the police that they were afraid i MIGHT say something to their children; they told the police i had said things to their children, which is patently not true and also very different in the interests of police.

outside of a close personal friend of the perpetrator and former friend of mine, i did not speak at all unless i was spoken to, and only to say good morning.

yep. because the only people who spoke to me had nothing to say other than good morning. and i got invited to some concerts.

the thing i said to the friend of the perpetrator was "did he do it to you too?" because he might have done for all i know. he certainly had opportunity because he's been alone with her and also taken her sailing, same as me.

so it wouldn't have been a big stretch of the imagination to think he might have had his tongue in her mouth, too.

she's maybe braver than me, maybe not afraid to fight back.

i was too afraid during the assault and too afraid afterward so no for the rest of my life i get to make up for that by fighting back against him and the culture of silence in churches and that church in particular. it will not happen to me again but maybe the next time it happens to someone in that church (and statistically it will. statistically it is happening NOW to someone else in that church somewhere in their lives)- maybe the next time someone in that church falls apart because of an assault on them the church will live up to its duty to be a safe haven.

maybe next time there will be no vacuum of leadership, no protection of the perpetrator, not so much punishment of the survivor who tells.


in any case, no children were present when i said it to her. it was just her and the associate pastor's wife.

but the officer had to come down and watch me stand there quietly and he had to get out and come talk to me. "as always, you're not doing anything wrong", is how the officer starts the conversation. i think this visit with the police makes an impression on the passers-by, especially the part of the visit from the police where the officer wishes me a good day and goes on leaving me standing there with the sign.

as for happy little messages written in the sidewalk in chalk, it's fine and dandy for you to wish me blessings on my day, williston federated church, but when are you going to DO anything to make this right?

we might pray and we might sing but we will not do anything
because we have no moral standing in the church!

awesome.

well, i think that went well, don't you?

the only way that could have been more awesome is if there had been police or something. it was totally worth scheduling travel plans around.

i'll be a little tired in the morning, but if you don't see me on the corner outside the williston federated church, it's not because i've lost interest. it's because i have found which church the perpetrator is attending and any week he's there is a week i have to go stand on their corner.

they're also a UCC church, so it will be really interesting to see how the UCC continues to not cope at all with this, especially under their smashingly successful safe churches initiative. the united methodist church district superintendent at least acknowledged the thing when she wrote that it wasn't any of their business, but the UCC conference minister says she never heard of it, which is an out and out lie since i've been standing on the corner when she goes by.

you think she might ask some questions or something in today's climate, but i think it's just symptomatic of an organization whose main mechanism for dealing with sexual misconduct complaint is a thing called the "insurance board".

i wish i was kidding about that.

uh, anyway.

i sense there is a great deal of fatigue in general surrounding this protest. people are tired of it.

the one thing i know for certain about the outcome is this: we're all going to get a lot more tired of it by the time it's over. the first year of it hasn't even passed, and i am practicing my christmas songs.