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not as funny. still satisfying.

this morning i spent a few hours on the corner. i think i only meant to spend an hour or so at it, but it was an interesting morning.

sometimes just the patterns of the pass are worth the observation.

i made some casual chitchat with a dog walker and a woman who came to put up yard sale signs.

if you spend a lot of time standing there or walking that corner, you get to know the rhythms of the day.

there were some waves and some thumbs up but the thing that about broke my heart was the red haired woman in the blue car. she didn't even roll down her window, but i could see her face when she read my sign and i could read her lips clear enough as if she had spoken right out loud next to me.

"i'm sorry", she said.

i do not know why that one moment was the heartbreaker of the day.

in other news, while most drivers through the intersection are polite and alert, too many of them are on the phone or going way too fast. just as i was getting ready to go home for jam and toast i was watching a westbound car while traffic passed in front of me.

and then there was the unmistakable sound of one car hitting another.

a white car, turning left into the store maybe, had slowed down and a blue car coming through the intersection plowed into him. neither driver was hurt and there looked to be little damage to the white car but the blue car got a crumpled panel.

it all happened off to my right, and after both had passed me, out of my view until i turned my head when i heard the sound, so i'll be no good as a witness.

see you on the streetcorner.

stand up comedy

although the background of the story isn't funny at all, telling the recent developments gets a bucket of laughs, from friends and strangers alike.

today in the hour i spent on the corner, a woman came by to talk. first she pulled up, started to get out of her car, got back in, made a phone call, and then got out and came over to me.

we talked for a long time. we laughed and cried and laughed some more.

it turned out the phone call had been to someone who didn't have the luxury of standing on the streetcorner when it happened to them, who still is afraid to go stand out on the corner.

she thanked me for my courage, for my work. she asked me never to forget that people do notice, and some of them are very grateful.



but when i tell the story of my treatment by this church, this week i am choosing to call it comedy because sometimes sorrow doesn't serve you very well.

and people screech with laughter and disbelief.

no. they didn't!
oh, wait, i tell them. it gets BETTER.
and they howl. we howl together.

we shed a tear or two for the losses, for the silence.

but we laugh where we can find gold.

and this is comedy gold.

this is the gold rush.

see you on the streetcorner.

educational progress

so today on my way to the grocery store i stopped off to walk the corner for an hour.

at some point the fraudulent pastor came outside, maybe to talk with me, maybe as a test of her awesome courage in the face of a song and a poster.

i don't know what she wanted.

but i do know this: in order to come outside she had to correctly operate a door, so that represents some progress in her demonstrated skill level.



outside the williston federated church on the street today i was not looking drivers in the eye, so the only ones with whom i had any interaction were drivers that went out of their way to flag my attention.


there were two enthusiastic wavers, one thumbs up, and a triple beeper.

one pedestrian said hello.

and a guy who may or may not have been homeless stopped and we had a short chat.

"i'm enjoying the countryside", he said.

see you out on the corner.

course listing

little lessons

well, now that i've been taught a nice sharp lesson, i am duly chastised. what a terrible embarrassment.

...for someone, i guess.

but not me.

me, it's business at usual at the williston federated church.

i only spent an hour on the corner today, but it went by quickly.

there were two thumbs up, two waves, one power fist salute, one shout of "get a job!" and one carload of women who stopped long enough to be outraged that a church would throw the victim out.

hey, how's that show of power workin' for ya, fraudulent pastor? you couldn't just shut the door? you needed to really show everyone who has all that authority you love so much? it's nice to see you're all about peace and welcome and a contemplative environment. it's nice to see you really care about people.

armed officers. in the church. on a sunday morning.

to take care of a little lady with a sign, singing songs. was i that out of tune? surely the lyrics did not displease you, since they are your own words.

you've heard of a "doorknob", right? it's that thing you use to close the door. that might could'a' been a handy tool for you and if you were a real leader instead of being in love with your own authority, you might have realized that.

oh, wait.

if you'd been a real leader instead of in love with your own authority, it wouldn't have come to this.

at choice point after choice point after choice point.

so.

more songs, more signs.

in the meantime, i suggest you learn to use a "doorknob".

i am thinking of moving to twice-a-days. that open house is going to be AWKWARD.

remember: "doorknob". if you do not like my musical selections, you can use the "doorknob" to shut the door.

i know, it's a revolutionary concept. google is your friend.


http://www.ask.com/question/how-does-a-door-knob-work


see you on the streetcorner.

this is what sundays look like from now on.

if the door isn't open for everyone, the door isn't open.

i keep saying that here, i keep saying it out on the street, and i have said it to the fraudulent pastor.

this morning all she had to do to make herself and the congregation immune from the terrifying prospect of having a little middle aged lady with a sign sing songs that made them unhappy was close the door.

that's it.

problem would have been solved.

and the lyrics of the song?

no matter who you are
no matter where you are on your spiritual journey
all are welcome at this table.

Lord Jesus would be so proud of you
Lord Jesus would be so proud.

the first part, of course, is simply what the fraudulent pastor, joan newton o'gorman, says every communion sunday. the second part is me making a conjecture.

still, it's just a song. it may be annoying, but all you have to do to protect yourself from it is to close the door.

but the fraudulent pastor was not interested in that. the fraudulent pastor was only interested in teaching me a little lesson.

so at somewhere near a quarter past nine this morning two armed officers of wiliston's finest were summoned to deal with me. after talking with me a few minutes they went inside. i simply resumed my singing.

the officers wished me a good day when they left.

near nine thirty the door was closed.

i imagine THAT set quite a tone for the worship service. did anyone say that thing they always say in the williston federated church? that thing about practicing radical welcome?

i bet that also made an impression out on the street. i bet that looked really cool next to the expensive banner advertising the open house.

we're the FRIENDLY church.

so how'd that go for you? did bringing armed officers into the church at the beginning of the worship service have the intended effect, or was that just more bad leadership?

how's all that talk about love and peace and welcome going?

the protest, by the way, is both legal and constitutionally protected. there is a crapton of case law about that.



if one is forbidden from that table, none are truly welcome.

see you on the streetcorner.