here's the catalogue:
handful of waves. notable first pass, right out of the gate two cars of wildly, effusively friendly wavers. i have no idea who they were.
couple of thumbs up.
one disapproving headshake from a lady in an easter hat.
this is what i sung to the tune of a familiar hymn that of course was sung inside:
hypocrites are here today
throw the victim out so the perp can stay
hypocrites are here today
throw the victim out so the perp can stay
hypocrites all rise and sing
throw the victim out so the perp can stay
we don't want to have to do a thing
throw the victim out so the perp can stay
at about ten fifteen a woman in a car stopped even thought there was traffic behind her:
"i just want you to know that i'm going to church now and you can come with us."
"thank you", i said, "but i have an engagement here until they deal properly with this"
"i hope you can get to church soon", she said.
i wished her a blessed easter.
a woman visiting the williston federated church asked me to tell her what was going on, so i did.
and overheard on the sidewalk, from some of the church regulars: "so now SHE'S the victim". and they laughed.
way to go, williston federated church. of course you would all band together and blame the victim. you're all very sad about assault and stalking until the husband of someone you like does it and then you all want to protect the perpetrator from the consequences of his actions.
oh, we can't simply help you to stay away from him; that would make him uncomfortable.
oh, we can't pray for you; it makes us uncomfortable.
when you fell apart because of it, we pushed you aside.
when you tried to regain your dignity, we turned away.
when you spoke of what had happened, we kicked you out.
when you started carrying the sign, we tried to get you incarcerated.
now that you won't let us forget what we did, we are going to call ourselves the victims.
because when you were assaulted and we tossed you out, it was terribly, terribly unfair and uncomfortable.
...for us.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
easter morning
well, i slept in this morning, because, well, i'm having a life out here and part of that life is i'm going to my grandomther's for dinner.
so a couple short hours at the church and a lovely song or two and then off i go.
meanwhile, back at the blog, in the next few hours we're going to hit 1000 views, which is really awesome.
thank you all for reading.
because really, the purpose of the exercise is to get the word out and keep getting the word out, time without end, amen.
later on if i have the energy i'll catalog the various stuffs that happen on the walk, or whatever.
it is a serious thing, what happened to me and it is a serious thing, this culture of silence and blaming of the victim. it is a wrong thing, a dangerous thing.
but i can't be sad about it all the time. it is enough that i will simply keep walking for justice until justice has been done.
so i'm out the door for this morning's walk before going to my grandmother's.
it is sunny and beautiful and my heart is light.
many miles, many months, many years if need be.
onward.
so a couple short hours at the church and a lovely song or two and then off i go.
meanwhile, back at the blog, in the next few hours we're going to hit 1000 views, which is really awesome.
thank you all for reading.
because really, the purpose of the exercise is to get the word out and keep getting the word out, time without end, amen.
later on if i have the energy i'll catalog the various stuffs that happen on the walk, or whatever.
it is a serious thing, what happened to me and it is a serious thing, this culture of silence and blaming of the victim. it is a wrong thing, a dangerous thing.
but i can't be sad about it all the time. it is enough that i will simply keep walking for justice until justice has been done.
so i'm out the door for this morning's walk before going to my grandmother's.
it is sunny and beautiful and my heart is light.
many miles, many months, many years if need be.
onward.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
holey saturday
i cut my afternoon pass short today so as not to mess with the business of the flower seller.
there were a half dozen waves and stuff, and quite frankly, i'm tired out from a day of skiing before my walk.
and tomorrow will be some long walks.
and tomorrow
and tomorrow
and tomorrow.
this'll probably take years.
whatever.
hey, do you think i should wear my pretty spring hat?
there were a half dozen waves and stuff, and quite frankly, i'm tired out from a day of skiing before my walk.
and tomorrow will be some long walks.
and tomorrow
and tomorrow
and tomorrow.
this'll probably take years.
whatever.
hey, do you think i should wear my pretty spring hat?
Friday, March 29, 2013
good friday, second verse
of course because the williston federated church was meeting jointly with the richmond congregational church tonight, my protest necessarily had to visit richmond.
it wasn't a surprise to reverend macneill nto to at least part of the board of deacons, because as a courtesy to them i wrote to them to tell them i was coming.
they are a people of conscience and deserved a heads up.
but it's a nervous thing, taking the story to any new venue.
and it isn't immediately obvious to the casual observer why i would be protesting the williston church in richmond.
the first person i ran into was a young woman of the church whom i nearly did nto recognize because she's at the age where a couple of years makes a BIG difference in how you look. and i'm not so good with faces. i wasn't entirely sure who she was until she high-fived me on the sidewalk.
and then some people went by.
a man said "that's a harsh message" to which i answered "it was a harsh thing". and he thanked me for taking the time to carry the sign.
when the crowd from the williston federated church came, ken stone, who is the chair of the official board, stopped and said "it's a lie".
you're no better than the perpetrator, ken.
it's a classic dodge, to call it a lie because justice is beyond the means of the victim. but he said and interesting thing: he said "we reported it to the williston police. we did what we were supposed to do. you didn't."
ok, so let's start here: you reported it eighteen months after you had knowledge, after you had begun to throw me out of the church.
then let's go to the part where i simply don't have the money to travel to virginia, (a notoriously woman-unfriendly state) to press charges in a he-said-she said.
the law maybe can't help me, but a church might could have a little morre moral oversight or support or something.
and the one thing i can prove about this is here: the church had knowledge of the assault for eighteen months and as my behavior got weirder and weirder as a result of the increasing pressure of being asked to be complicit in the silence the church continued to do nothing.
...until the church decided the best way to keep from being made uncomfortable by what had happened t me was to send me packing.
so good job blaming me for my own assault.
good job blaming me for not being aggressive enough in the prosecution of it.
good job abdicating any call for a church - a church, for christ's sake!- to aid or comfort or take a moral stand.
because unless there was penetration, it doesn't count.
because a church is only concerned with the outcomes of police record and has mo moral or humanitarian authority to serve, comfort, or be compassionate.
it wasn't a surprise to reverend macneill nto to at least part of the board of deacons, because as a courtesy to them i wrote to them to tell them i was coming.
they are a people of conscience and deserved a heads up.
but it's a nervous thing, taking the story to any new venue.
and it isn't immediately obvious to the casual observer why i would be protesting the williston church in richmond.
the first person i ran into was a young woman of the church whom i nearly did nto recognize because she's at the age where a couple of years makes a BIG difference in how you look. and i'm not so good with faces. i wasn't entirely sure who she was until she high-fived me on the sidewalk.
and then some people went by.
a man said "that's a harsh message" to which i answered "it was a harsh thing". and he thanked me for taking the time to carry the sign.
when the crowd from the williston federated church came, ken stone, who is the chair of the official board, stopped and said "it's a lie".
you're no better than the perpetrator, ken.
it's a classic dodge, to call it a lie because justice is beyond the means of the victim. but he said and interesting thing: he said "we reported it to the williston police. we did what we were supposed to do. you didn't."
ok, so let's start here: you reported it eighteen months after you had knowledge, after you had begun to throw me out of the church.
then let's go to the part where i simply don't have the money to travel to virginia, (a notoriously woman-unfriendly state) to press charges in a he-said-she said.
the law maybe can't help me, but a church might could have a little morre moral oversight or support or something.
and the one thing i can prove about this is here: the church had knowledge of the assault for eighteen months and as my behavior got weirder and weirder as a result of the increasing pressure of being asked to be complicit in the silence the church continued to do nothing.
...until the church decided the best way to keep from being made uncomfortable by what had happened t me was to send me packing.
so good job blaming me for my own assault.
good job blaming me for not being aggressive enough in the prosecution of it.
good job abdicating any call for a church - a church, for christ's sake!- to aid or comfort or take a moral stand.
because unless there was penetration, it doesn't count.
because a church is only concerned with the outcomes of police record and has mo moral or humanitarian authority to serve, comfort, or be compassionate.
good friday, first verse
i took- i don't know- six? nine? short passes in the afternoon.
i have to make a correction; apparently the driver with the weird behavior was the fraudulent pastor, so at least some of the behavior is excused or explained.
anyway, there were a few honk and waves and a couple of just waves and one completely unrelated out of state diver who flew through the intersection at about forty miles an hour and nevemrind the stop signs.
a LOT of really bad driving goes on at that corner.
in the two o'clock hour i was stopped for conversation by a woman who lives nearby and we were joined for a little while by a man who lives nearby.
we talked a while.
one of the things she siad was that she knows it can't be convenient for me to be out there every day, but she thanks me for my work against the culture of silence.
meanwhile, back here at the blog, it is interesting to know how readers are finding it. here is a screenshot of the search terms that have led people here in the last week:
i have to make a correction; apparently the driver with the weird behavior was the fraudulent pastor, so at least some of the behavior is excused or explained.
anyway, there were a few honk and waves and a couple of just waves and one completely unrelated out of state diver who flew through the intersection at about forty miles an hour and nevemrind the stop signs.
a LOT of really bad driving goes on at that corner.
in the two o'clock hour i was stopped for conversation by a woman who lives nearby and we were joined for a little while by a man who lives nearby.
we talked a while.
one of the things she siad was that she knows it can't be convenient for me to be out there every day, but she thanks me for my work against the culture of silence.
meanwhile, back here at the blog, it is interesting to know how readers are finding it. here is a screenshot of the search terms that have led people here in the last week:
the truth will set us free.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
maundy thursday
i started with one short pass and then decided because of traffic and visibility to keep to just the front of the church where the sign is and the entrance.
there was one honk and wave, and one man with his children (!) who said they had seen me many days and decided to ask.
being mindful of how to tell the story with children made me forget to mention some of the salient bits, but it's ok, i guess.
the larger objective is not to convince everybody, but to tell the truth and keep telling it until the general perception of the williston federated church is forever intertwined with the image of the protest.
as long as there is no substantive effort to make right the culture of silence, nobody gets to begin the long hard work of erasing the assault and the story of it from cultural memory.
tonight while i walked i chose to sing "were you there?" but set to new words that described fairly bluntly the assault.
it is not particularly important that people hear the words; just that they knew i was singing that song.
you know, the one they end the maundy thursday service with inside.
"all are welcome at this table", the fraudulent pastor says.
well, no, all aren't welcome. if someone from the church assaults and then subsequently stalks you, you're only welcome as long as you don't talk about it.
the perpetrator is still welcome there.
were you there when his tongue was in my mouth?
were you there when his tongue was in my mouth?
oooooohhh- sometimes it makes me want to vomit,
vomit,
vomit.
were you there when his tongue was in my mouth?
i don't ever want them to be able to use that music again without being reminded of it.
there was one honk and wave, and one man with his children (!) who said they had seen me many days and decided to ask.
being mindful of how to tell the story with children made me forget to mention some of the salient bits, but it's ok, i guess.
the larger objective is not to convince everybody, but to tell the truth and keep telling it until the general perception of the williston federated church is forever intertwined with the image of the protest.
as long as there is no substantive effort to make right the culture of silence, nobody gets to begin the long hard work of erasing the assault and the story of it from cultural memory.
tonight while i walked i chose to sing "were you there?" but set to new words that described fairly bluntly the assault.
it is not particularly important that people hear the words; just that they knew i was singing that song.
you know, the one they end the maundy thursday service with inside.
"all are welcome at this table", the fraudulent pastor says.
well, no, all aren't welcome. if someone from the church assaults and then subsequently stalks you, you're only welcome as long as you don't talk about it.
the perpetrator is still welcome there.
were you there when his tongue was in my mouth?
were you there when his tongue was in my mouth?
oooooohhh- sometimes it makes me want to vomit,
vomit,
vomit.
were you there when his tongue was in my mouth?
i don't ever want them to be able to use that music again without being reminded of it.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
lent, day 42
another bright day on the line. two short passes and then two hours of tight church corners.
i was stopped by two drivers and got to talk a while.
both sets of people said they have seen me walking "all the time" and wanted to ask.
and there's the good news: that corner and the williston federated church are becoming associated with my message and my protest.
people don't have to agree or approve as long as i can make the association stick.
why?
because when i was turned out, i was told that it was making people "too uncomfortable" for me to talk about what happened to me. how uncomfortable are you all NOW?
when i was turned out, i was told "if this is true, we have to fire the pastor".
by turning me out, they were telling me my experience was a lie.
so nobody has the choice not to talk about it anymore. nobody has the choice not to be uncomfortable anymore.
my sign and my message get to be more or less permanently associated with that church. that is to me an acceptable compensation for my trouble.
and as i closed my day there was one last cheerful honk and wave to put the last word on it.
it is light and liberating and good.
i was stopped by two drivers and got to talk a while.
both sets of people said they have seen me walking "all the time" and wanted to ask.
and there's the good news: that corner and the williston federated church are becoming associated with my message and my protest.
people don't have to agree or approve as long as i can make the association stick.
why?
because when i was turned out, i was told that it was making people "too uncomfortable" for me to talk about what happened to me. how uncomfortable are you all NOW?
when i was turned out, i was told "if this is true, we have to fire the pastor".
by turning me out, they were telling me my experience was a lie.
so nobody has the choice not to talk about it anymore. nobody has the choice not to be uncomfortable anymore.
my sign and my message get to be more or less permanently associated with that church. that is to me an acceptable compensation for my trouble.
and as i closed my day there was one last cheerful honk and wave to put the last word on it.
it is light and liberating and good.
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